On Ash Wednesday, I gave up coffee for Lent.

It's only been three days, but I have to tell you, I really miss my coffee. I miss the ritual of grinding the beans. I miss the aroma of the brewing coffee. I miss pouring my cream and watching the half and half swirl and turn the deep coffee depths to a creamy brown. I miss the rich, warm feeling that happens as soon as that first sip of coffee touches my lips and slides across my tongue and down my throat. I even miss washing the pot. Really, I do.

It's crazy how much I miss my coffee.

A friend of mine recently asked me if I thought that God would love me more because I was fasting weekly and sacrificing coffee for Him. I had to think about that for a moment. The truth is, many times I do do spiritual/religious activities because I think God WILL love me more for doing them. So, when my friend asked me what I hoped to accomplish by fasting and abstaining from coffee, I wanted to be very sure of my own motives before answering.

After spending a bit of time thinking about my friend's question I've come to the following conclusion. For me, fasting and abstinance are not about earning favor with God, because frankly, I am growing to understand that nothing can be done to earn God's favor. God loves me because He is God. And because God is love, His love is inviolate. It cannot be more or less, it simply is.

So where does this all leave me? Why fast? Why Abstain? I suppose for me, it all boils down to obedience to God. Scripture is clear that we Christians are to be a fasting people. In the context of Lent, I see fasting as preparation, as a way of joining with Christ as he journeys through the darkness of Good Friday. It's all a part of preparing my soulscape to kneel at the foot of the cross. I don't pretend to understand it all. I can't predict how any of this will affect or impact my life, or my relationship with Christ. I leave that all in God's very capable hands.

Before I close this post, I wanted to comment briefly on one of the scripture readings for Thursday that was from Deuteronomy 30:15-20. I have to tell you that I was particularly struck by verse 6 (from The Message) which reads:

6 God, your God, will cut away the thick calluses on your heart and your children's hearts, freeing you to love God, your God, with your whole heart and soul and live, really live.

My friends, this verse gets to the heart of my Lenten longing!

I pray that God will use this time to cut away the thick calluses on my heart. I pray that I will be freed to love God, my God with my whole heart and soul. I pray that I might live, really live.