Why in the world would a middle aged, evangelical woman desire to explore the spiritual discipline of Lent?

All I can say is, this past year I have made choices that should grieve my heart. I have chosen to spend my time selfishly and wastefully. I have chosen to indulge my worldly appetites by watching too much television, by eating more than I need to survive, by becoming lazy and undisciplined. I have self-righteously chosen to judge others and to make enemies of some of my brothers and sisters in Christ. In other words, I have chosen the things of this world over deepening my relationship with Christ. I have chosen to live amidst the chaos of my own self-will instead of resting in the unchanging will of my Heavenly Father.

As I've previously stated, I should be grieved by these choices, and in many small ways I am. I have grown fatter and that grieves me. My selfishness has damaged some of my relationships....and that grieves me. I am lukewarm about my relationship with God, uninspired by scripture, angry with Church....and each of those things, for various and sundry reasons grieves me too. Ultimately though, I recognize that this kind of grieving is just another expression of my own self-absorption and self-interest.

Something needs to change, and deep down, I sense how desperately I long to reflect, to repent, and to be spiritually restored/renewed.

I see this Season of Lent as my opportunity to embrace change and it is my prayer that I will once again respond whole heartedly to our Heavenly Father's invitation to love and be loved.

Today I had intended to meditate upon the following scriptures: Joel 2:12-18; Psalm 51: 3-4, 5-6ab, 12-13, 14&17; 2 Cor. 5: 20 - 6:2; Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18. I only read the verses from Joel and Matthew...but I feel somewhat encouraged, as even this little bit constitutes more scripture than I read the day before.

Tomorrow, I will be focusing upon the following passages: Deuteronomy 30:15-20; Psalm 1:1-2, 3, 4, 6; Luke 9:22-25 .

I found these scriptural references for praying through Lent on the Creighton University Online Ministries webpage. I think they will serve me well.

I also fasted today. It's the first time I've fasted in over a year and it felt so scary and so good all at the same time....but, I'll write more on that another time. I intend to fast every Wednesday and Friday throughout Lent.

I also volunteered at our neighborhood elementary school this morning. I sharpened pencils and organized books and prepared mid-morning snacks for our school's fourth graders. It was humble work...good work, I felt a certain peace in being surrounded by the beautiful faces and the youthful voices of my community's children. I felt blessed.

Each of these activities were prompted by my desire to observe Lent in a real and meaningful way. I'm trying...maybe I'm not doing things perfectly, but at least I'm trying.

And now, it seems appropriate to close this post with the following poem written by Rumi, a Sufi poet. This poem really touched me today...it expresses my both my hope and my great joy in knowing that our God is the God of hope, compassion and invitation to love and be loved.



Come, Come Whoever You Are
by Sufi poet Mevlana Jelaluddin Rumi

Come, come, whoever you are,
Wonderer, worshipper, lover of leaving.
It doesn't matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow
a thousand times
Come, yet again, come, come